I won't blame you if you don't do a double-take at the following statistic. Like a woman who chases men she just knows are completely bad for her, Americans have fallen in love with statistics, but for all the wrong reasons. And thus, when a solid, meaningful statistic is reported, the public tends not to be that interested. You know, the "nice guy finishing last" and all. I suppose we like our statistics dangerous, rough at the edges.

Concluding their study in March 2005, the Centers for Disease Control reported that life expectancy in America had increased, yet again, to a record high of 77.6 years. In fact, every race, gender and age group rose at approximately the same rate. Every one of them!

Now, I understand that CDC statistics aren't as sexy and exciting as statistics you may get on the other side of the tracks- the local news, political activist groups, and the like. The CDC doesn't generally go into detail on shark attacks amongst rich, white college kids on spring break. The CDC doesn't generally flavor its data with partisan jibes like including statistics on aborted fetuses. (I checked, the age group breakdown does start at zero-to-one, not before that.)

If you haven't done your double-take, go ahead and do a fake one now while I repeat it: life expectancy rose. In fact, I'll tell you a little secret about these things- life expectancy always rises.

The report was sprinkled along a few news wires, and even hit the CNN front page for a bit. It was then that I did my own double-take. Not because I was surprised at the statistics- we all kind of know that life expectancy rises, don't we? Rather, I now saw in real-time why such things aren't reported very heavily- it makes most of the other stories logically invalid!

It just looks bad when a headline to the effect of "Life Expectancy Up Once Again" is sitting right next to stories about dangerous chemicals, gang violence, and pregnant teenagers. It's just difficult to push opinion pieces about America slipping into an orgy of immorality, dangerously blissful ignorance, and self-inflicted disease when you also have to go on about the treacherously boring fact that we're all living longer anyway.

I'm no Pollyanna, you see. Even though the sheer majority of people will not, for example, encounter a serial killer- I understand that it's still a relevant story when such a thing occurs. Tragic- though statistically abnormal- events are interesting to most everyone, and do help explain the sociological complexities of our modern culture. As well, reporting on the dangers of behavior we all partake in to some extent- such as eating junk, smoking and drinking too much- do indirectly help in eventually making us healthier, and thusly effecting things like life expectancy.

However, the media generally takes a very different angle. It has to. The American people have a fetish with downward trends. Every problem or issue is, by default, multiplied over time to the negative.